You know you drink too much coffee when...

Juan Valdez names his mule after you.
1)You chew on your roommate's fingernails.
2)You can jump-start your car without cables.
3)You do twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
4)You can't remember your second cup.
5)You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
6)Starbucks has a mortgage on your house.
7)Your birthday is a national holiday in Columbia.
8)You don't sweat - you percolate.
9)You grind coffee beans in your mouth.